Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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