The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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