I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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