Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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