He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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