you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
we should paint friendship bongs
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