I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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