kristin has been a bad kristin
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize