i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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