i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
