I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
