4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
