Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
