so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
