in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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