I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
