He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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