We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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