I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
