no, he came in my armpit
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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