I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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