my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
