It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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