We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
