She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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