Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize