sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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