yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
