out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
