if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
