Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
