I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Welp...herpes.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
