I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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