The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
