My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The air was thick with penises
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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