come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize