Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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