I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize