The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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