In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize