Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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