we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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