What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
