the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
