apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
is wine microwaveable?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize