I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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