Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
