We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
MIDGETS
????
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
