the only muscles i have these days is kegels
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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