its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
cat food counts as protein by the way
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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