Can i not drive my cunt home
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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