guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
