Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
