WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
