I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
