remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
