Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
