I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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