i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
